I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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