I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
