This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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