Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize