y did u give ur computer a hand job?
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
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