is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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