just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
