i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
