Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
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