thus making me awesome and them whores
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
