The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Randomize
