i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
