You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
