just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
