Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Randomize
