on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
