toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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