so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Randomize
