i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
