I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
thus making me awesome and them whores
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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