just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize
