Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
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