Can i not drive my cunt home
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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