do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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