we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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