everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
