and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
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