making cat noises will not fix the situation.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
