No stitches, just platelets and will power
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
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