I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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