sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Randomize
