hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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