"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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