after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
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