whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
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