my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
