It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
