I think I won the penis lottery.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
