Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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