I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize
