I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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