My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
