Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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