And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
