I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
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