addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Randomize
