you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Randomize
