super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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