dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
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