Are we in a gay sports bar?
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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