You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
