I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
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