mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize