my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
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