butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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