If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
I think a kid would responsible me up
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
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