3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Randomize