I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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