D3 body, D1 cock
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
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