he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
