my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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