Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
