THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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