she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
