My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
