she kept yelling 'call me bella'
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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