So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Randomize